Journey.

Do not allow him to consume you. If he does not call, go to sleep. If he does not message, put your phone away and have a fantastic day anyway. If he acts distant when you are with him and refuses to tell you what is wrong, don’t wait for him, go home and do something you love. If he tries to insinuate you do not need your friends now that you have him, spend more time with your friends. If he tries to teach you a lesson through the silent treatment, ignore him completely.
If he plays with your feelings constantly, walk away from him. If he acts like your body is his entitlement when you are not ready, walk away from him. If he says terrible, unforgivable things and threatens to leave you after every argument, walk away from him. If he forbids you from doing anything you love, walk away from him. If he claims ownership of your accomplishments, walk away from him. If he demeans you or disrespects your being a girl and refuses to stop when you tell him it hurts, walk away from him.

I cannot stress this enough, you live for yourself first. He is a secondary character in the story of your life. Do not allow him to turn you into a secondary character in your own book

Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes.

Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more.

You’re doing just fine.

one thing that is crazy about this generation is that we feel like we need to be with someone now and find the love of our life, and i think it’s because so many of us have seen so many failed relationships from parents, to grandparents, but when you’re young love shouldn’t be so fucking serious. let it be easy. you don’t need to find love now. be comfortable with yourself. build your empire now. don’t be in relationships that are shitty and aren’t benefiting you. be fucking selfish and fuck anyone who doesn’t agree with it. this is YOUR youth. if love comes along so be it, if it doesn’t fuck it. you don’t have to settle for anyone. that’s the kind of shit we should be learning from the failed relationships of our parents. think about how they settled, or weren’t able to follow their dreams for whatever reason, how they were probably afraid to be by themselves, or how they had to grow up a little too fast. you’re young. be young. don’t be afraid to be alone. don’t be afraid to love. be daring. don’t grow up so fucking fast. don’t settle. build upon yourself.
love will come and love will go, but you’ll be eternal.

You cannot wait for someone to save you, to help you, to complete you. No one can complete you. You complete yourself.

What I’ve learned in 2016

1. Friendship is a matter of convenience.
It can be true and beautiful and fun and full of love until she moves to another city for college and finds 10 more people she can ‘connect’ with.

2. You don’t have to pursue a boring degree for a boring job. Yes, your passion is for things that make it harder to fetch money but you have one life. Do you really want to spend it doing something you don’t absolutely love?
If you’re passionate about something, no matter what, you will excel, you will thrive. That’s the key to real success. Not some statistics stating the most lucrative jobs and industries.

3. You will exercise. You will drink more water. You will eat healthier. Not because you’re not beautiful the way you are but because your body deserves to be treated better. It literally has carries you around, has your back and actually has your heart from that first moment to your very last.

4. If they are a bitch to others what makes you think they won’t be one to you when the time comes? How people treat others is always a tell tale of how they will treat you. Pay attention. It’s better than feeling like a fool 6 years later.

5. Cook your own meals sometimes.
You know just the amount of oil, salt and ingredients you want. You may not be a masterchef but you know what your stomach wants.

6. Surround yourself with happiness, inspiration and positivity and a very major part of that is social media. Who you follow is so important. Social media is supposed to be a happy and safe place for you. Choose the right people and the right works to fill your feeds because eventually those fill your mind and heart.

7. Nature is all healing.
It’s the one thing in the beautiful presence of which even the most talkative person like you feels the need to shut up. Nature requires no words. It’s completeness is something to learn from.

8. Your parents live a life apart from being your parents. They have moments you’re not a part of, moments you don’t even know. They have not only had a life before you but also a life with you being there that you don’t know about. That’s okay and that’s not something to be mad about.

9. People will leave you. Always.
Some in days, some in months. There are those who take decades and then there are those who never leave in physical form but withdraw all meaning and that’s when you must leave.
But just because people leave their stay doesn’t become any less wonderful or important.

10. Sometimes the only person you need at 3 am is yourself. Give yourself mode credit. You can always help yourself. It may just take a little longer and be a little harder but you don’t need another person to help you. You are enough. You are strong. You will never disappoint.

11. Music of all type is necessary. Songs that make you cry and the ones that make you think and then those that make you only want to dance.

12. Draw.
Everyone is an artist. And your drawings may look like those of a middle school kid but isn’t your joy just like hers?

13. Read more books. Yes, you’re older now and busier too but ‘busy ’ is an excuse and you know it.
Find time for something that saved you. Find time for something that you love.

14. Lipstick is life.
People may stare at you and they may get intimidated by certain shades but that’s okay, one smile and they will be at peace.

15. Click more selfies and click them without any shame.
If you’re happy, if you look at yourself and feel like capturing that one moment where you feel good about yourself - go fucking ahead.
Capture all your happiness, beauty and goofy-ness.
But remember, they are for you and not your social media.

16. There’s literally no way you can help someone without helping yourself.
And they may give you nothing in return and they may be ungrateful but who cares?
They aren’t half the person you are and you can shrug it off and move on but remember unlike you, Karma never forgets.
Also, karma is only a bitch if you are.

The darkest moment is the very moment before sunrise. It’s a fact.
So 2016 may have been your darkest time but that only means the sunlight of happiness and inspiration and love awaits you in 2017.

You are kindhearted,
and you do good things,
so teach me your laws.

Love is love. Whether you’re 1000 miles apart or right next to each other. Whether you’ve met before or you are yet to meet. Whether you are opposite sex or the same sex. Whether you are far apart in age or exactly the same. Whether the people around you agree with your choices or not. None of these things matter.

Some people think crying shows weakness. Some people choose to hold tears back. Some people believe crying is useless. Well, I believe crying is healthy. There will come a day, or maybe even a week, when everything seems to go wrong. You’ve been disappointed. You realize you’re not good enough. You can’t get what you want. & then, no one seems to understand. But you know what. Just cry. It doesn’t mean crying everyday but just sit yourself down & cry.Think about what’s been killing you. What’s been festering inside. Let every single negative thing out. & after you cry, never think about it again. Crying doesn’t mean you’re breaking down but it’s signs of strength. Don’t ignore your feelings, instead embrace them. Walk away stronger. Stand taller. & never let those things bring you down ever again.

However much you love somebody, you should always keep a part of yourself to yourself. Never give it all. You can never be yourself otherwise.

So there it was, I was alive, I had survived.
No one saved me, because I saved myself.